Raised by badgers on the mean streets of Portland, Oregon, the internet celebrity known as Rraaaarrl taught herself to read and write after discovering a box of Fantastic Four back issues in the dumpster behind a local Chuck-E-Cheese. Patterning herself after Doctor Doom, she crushed her enemies. Her rise to power occurred over a 24 hour period now know as "Miracle Monday". She continues to post today, but often disappears for lengthy stretches of time to fight crime and breed corgis.
Can I just say that
I love you for this amazing fake biography